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October 11, 2010



I always joke that the only reason I'd run is the same reason the pigs in the pig races do: if there's an Oreo at the end for me. :-)

Diane H.

What does mid-life mean to me? It's that in-between age when you look into the mirror and have to choose between pulling a gray hair, or popping a zit!

Lewis F

A friend of mine is former professional racer. One day he noticed a chicken delivery car and decided to duplicate it and drive it to Talladega, Alabama.
Here's a link to the story of the car:



That would be a great charity run theme - a cupcake run! Run 3.1 miles and get a cupcake reward at the end :)


What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Ok, that was terrible.

Penny Snyder

Our son was running, practicing for football - going back our farmer's lane. Our dog was following him, the sun was setting, and ahead of him 2 deer were running. I said all we need for a picture perfect moment would be a camera!!! Didn't have mine with me!!!

Jill L

This was told to me by our priest. How does a priest make holy water? He boils the Hell out of it!! LOL

Stephanie V.

I love Sees milk chocolate buttercreams and it can motivate me to do almost anything!
tvollowitz at aol dot com

Adrienne gordon

Why didn't the sailors play cards?
- Because the captain was sitting on the deck.

Heather S

I was running of the treadmill and feeling good. I lost my train of thought and shot off the back of it and landed on the floor. I laid there and laughed. I am not very coordinated.

Nadine L

I have to say, I am a klutz, always have been, always will be. So I should not be surprised by my results with "the Firm" videos years back and I know my hubby is not surprised. He in fact warned me....I bought the whole series and all the gadgets that went with it,including the step. When I bough the step hubby said "are you sure that's a good idea?" I of course became very indignant and told him it's only a couple of inches off the ground, how much damage can I do to myself" Well, I found out pretty quickly...I did fine at first, but then it came to a part where the tempo picked up and I had to go front to back instead of side to side and on my third step back up I tripped over the step, fell face first into the tv, broke the screen, got a gash in my forehead , had to get 6 stitches. So yeah, the step was put away quickly, never to see the light of day again. I am surprised I can use my treadmill everyday without killing myself

Lori Hart

Walking out of the Oakland Colliseum after a Raider game years ago. Just walking and chatting.... till I missed the BRIGHTLY PAINTED yellow curb and severely sprained my ankle. A trip to the ER and crutches and I was fine.. but my sister has never let me hear the end of it.

rugerpuppies at hotmail dot com

Jennifer short

My dad once was picking me up from a church event when I was in jr high. He was hanging out the window waving to the pastor. Next thing we knew, the pastor's mailbox was under our back tire.

Andrea S.

I had a friend in college that wasnt too interested in working out, but she loved going out to lunch. So I told her if she got the same trial gym membership I was getting and then worked out with me, I would go to lunch with her...an even 1 for 1 trade.

In those three months I lost 28 pounds by working out hard and eating salad/no dressing on our lunches. In the same three months she *gained* 9 pounds because she went through the motions at the gym and ate yummy food (read fattening) at every lunch.

Is that a funny story? I'm sure she doesn't think so!

Susan S.

My son's favorite joke right now is how do you say spanish in pig? Oink!

rsmstahley @ adelphia dot net


sign me up


I have been attending water areobics and have been losing weight. A few weeks ago I noticed that the other people in my class were staring at me. I looked down and my chest had come out of my suit while jumping around! So embarrassing! Worth it for the weight loss though.
Awesome contest! Thanks for entering me!
Janna Johnson

Joy Bennett

My stroller broke and i was forced to pull my DD age 3 in a wagon when I exercised. It was really tiring and in the south TX sun and heat it the resistance is draining. One day after pulling her for 2 miles while she reclined on a pillow in the wagon we finally reached home. I was so tired and then my DD says, "Mommy you will have to carry me inside, I'm too tired to get up."

Cynthia C

A friend of ours was on a hayride with his later-to-be wife and he found it necessary to relieve himself. Running through the field and standing next to a fence, he found a spot. Unfortunately, it was an electric fence!

Sarah Hirsch

I put a television set in front of the treadmill and I only allow myself to watch my favorite reality show guilty pleasures if I exercise while doing so. And since, of course, I can't resist these ridiculous shows, at least my body gets a workout even when my mind doesn't. :)


We lived in Mauritania (in the Sahara desert) for 6 years. There, the standard of beauty for a woman is that she be as light-skinned and large as possible (I was practically a beauty queen!) Once, a friend of mine had stopped by and my husband came home. He said to her, "Aicha, you're looking pale and fat." "Oh thank you! thank you!" she told him. He told me later he just wanted to see if he could say that to a woman and not get slapped! And always, after that, she was very fond of him!

elizabeth p

I got motivated when we got our English Bull Terrier and my youngest told her Meme, “We got a dog, she’s a short, fat dog like my mom”. Yep that will do it.


My 2 yr old is in the bathroom when I hear her say. I is not bad some of got it and some of us don't. I never asked

Emily N.

Here's a clip from one of my favorite shows. It's easy to lose weight if you can't get the food into your mouth.

Melissa O.

I work at a community center where we hire local youth for an ongoing admin internship. Over the course of the year and a half, we first hired Darnell, then Derrell, and now Danny. A young guy who I didn't know came in and was talking about how he was having trouble finding a job because of some criminal charges (we also hire ex-offenders quite regularly) and he was so well-spoken, I mentioned that we'd be hiring for this position shortly but had very specific hiring reqs and I asked him his name...it was Daniel...so I told him he already passed the first test as we simply couldn't hire someone whose name didn't begin with D.

Pat H

When my son was younger I had a demonstration party at my home and was serving food and asked my son to run and get mommy some napkins. I almost died when he walked in with a package of sanitary napkins and started handing them out to everyone. They all just said thank you and started bursting out laughing. I'll never forget that day. lol


Nothing really that funny, although ever since I had my son I can't do jumping jacks because everything doesn't really stay in the same way it used to - if you know what I mean... Thanks! thebubbledies(at)gmail(dot)com


My husband decided to run a full marathon one day with only a month to train. He was in the military so he was in pretty good shape but a marathon was a little different. He got to mile 16 before stopping at a pay phone and calling me to ask for a cab number. The roads were blocked off so the cab couldn't get to him, so he decided to tough it out and just finish. He did and he actually had a pretty decent time. I will never forget the phone ringing and him asking for the number of a cab company. HAHAHA!


One time I was running on a treadmill in front of a glass wall that looked onto a basketball court. There were lots of good looking men playing basketball. I noticed a pain in my left breast, but kept running. Finally the pain got bad enough to quit oogling the guys and I looked down... my breast had fallen OUT of my sports bra! I reached down the top of my shirt, while running full tilt, and yanked it back in. It explains why I got extra attention at the gym that day.


My life in general is funny right now. My husband and I are new parents of a 7 week old baby. Every day is something new. The funniest thing is my husband's aversion to spit up and baby pee. :)

Linda W

My favorite elephant joke:

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
Answer: So he wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate!

Linda W



My daughter has a stuffed llama she keeps on her bed..his name is "Karl". Our dog Bailey loves any stuffed animals and constantly sneaks into Danielle's room and tries to steal her "babies". The other day, Bailey got Karl and took off running with Danielle right behind her. Danielle yelled "Stay strong Karl!!!!"




Thought of the day:

4 out of 5 dentists recommend playing hockey.


Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"



Tweeted here:


I like to listen to my music as I walk my dog. We both need the exercise! The music makes it fun, but being run over by the speeding cars around here - not so much fun. All y'all slow down, please!!


Here's the tweet



I took (what I thought was) a desk job at a gym. "Mid 40's with the cardiovascular endurance of an 80 yo" is how I described myself. Day 1, the fitness director, who was the same age as my son, decided I needed to know how to use the machines. ALL the machines. He led me on a 55 min circuit of everything from cardio to 18 weight machines. Next day? Felt like I'd been hit by a truck! I could barely get out of bed!!!

Tracy Robertson

I can't really think of anything funny, but I exercise and still can't stay away from chocolate - even for a day. I guess that's why the extra pounds aren't flying off.

Sandra Brower

While my husband was doing his second tour for Desert Storm, he had been home for a few months and then redeployed, I decided to spend my free time exercising and volunteering at the base gym to get into Bikini shape before the Summer. I ran almost every day, volunteered two days a week at the gym, ate right, swam in the ocean, biked every where I went and generally lived very healthy. A month went by and no weight loss. I felt strong but still the scale said the same. Two months went by and I got a really bad stomach flu, scales said I lost 3 pounds. Three months went by and I had gained the three back plus a couple more and I was so upset that when my husband got to call me from Bahrain all I could do is cry and tell him how upset I was that I was working so hard and not losing weight. The next day I went to work, still sniffling about my failure to lose any weight and my boss asked me, "Sandy, when is the last time you had your period?" :) The next time my husband called I told him I needed 3 minutes and did he think he could hold on while I peed on a stick. You could hear him whooping and yelling and he walks away to tell everyone there what was going on. When the 3 minutes had passed I asked him if he would be too disappointed if I couldn't wear a bikini this season. LOL

Tracy Robertson

I tweeted
thank you!

Iliana Blair

My ferrets make me laugh... Emily loves to drag downstairs any type of plastic. Just yesterday she dragged an empty milk jug.. you just have to see her do it to see how funny it is.. 1 and 1/2 lb ferret dragging a big jug down the stairs..:-)

Heather S

We play a game every night at dinner after we've eaten. We talk about our days and tell jokes, whoever makes everyone laugh the hardest gets the "pot"($1)! It makes for some side hurting laughter!

Heather S



my daughter and i just joined a gym together. it's funny when i go by myself i get a full work out in, when she joins me you won't believe how much we get interrupted. and it's not because i am the good looking one


Out for a walk together when granddaughter asked why I didn't jog along with her. Told her about my arthritis. After a pause for thought she sweetly advised me to just keep on walking every day anyway: then someday my feet would just take of running when I wasn't looking.

Suzanne K

I had just started using the Wii Fit and was doing the aerobics/stepping. My pants were a bit baggy, but I did want them a bit loose to be able to move. Then, as I was stepping, I realized that maybe they were a bit too loose... picture: step, step, tug (up), step, step, tug... got some good belly exercise out of the laughs of what I must have looked like!


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?



SECOND ENTRY TWEET http://twitter.com/#!/kytah00/status/29065621617



I have the Wii fitness coach and if you don’t log into it for awhile….well, she has a snarky tone that scolds you about it. My kids always remind me that she’s going to be mad if I don’t do the Wii pretty soon! I guess that's one way to get motivated. At least she can't reach out and slap me!


tweeted: http://twitter.com/KerryBishop/status/29179874250


When I first moved to Wisconsin, I went shopping and was puzzled when the cashier asked, "Do you wanna beg for that?" I didn't even know how to respond so I just kind of stared blankly (frankly, I thought it was some kind of insult!) until she, clearly annoyed, repeated "Do you wanna BEG? A BEG?" Little did I know that "beg" is how a lot of people here pronounce the word bag. Oops!


My niece reported that she had told her Kindergarten classmate about her goldfish's death. "Did Natalie say she was sorry?" I asked. "Natalie didn't do it!" she replied.

Jill H.

I ran right off the back of the treadmill at the gym watching a cute guy walk by and yes, he noticed me too as soon as I did that. Argh!

Jill H.



thanks so much


My husband loves horror films. Usually, we laugh through them, point out the impossibilites, the stupidities, and the ridiculous actions of the characters in it. Last night, we took a trip down memory lane and watched "Pet Sematary" by Stephen King. I've seen this movie many times in my youth, and it never really bothered me. Of course, that was before I had children. Before I had a daughter that is exactly the same age as the little boy named Gage that dies in the film and comes back really "different". As soon as they showed the little boy "alive", weilding the scalpel, I lost it! I shrieked, covered my eyes, and burst out crying. I had a flash of my almost 2 year old, doing the same thing. My husband laughed, thinking my outburst was histerical. Me, not so much.


I thought it was a good idea to dance around the house for exercise until I stubbed my toe. Ouch!


hehehe, read this yesterday and absolutely had to share it went a everyone.



When my kids go to bed, I hunt through their Halloween candy and pick out my favorites for a nighttime snack. In the morning they comment that their stash looks smaller but I tell them they are imagining things.

Melissa D

I kept a dress I wore to a formal in college. I'll never forget how I felt like a princess wearing it back then. Now, I'll try to put it on every once in awhile and have a good laugh, then I suddenly feel motivated to work out. It's like magic!

Happi Shopr

I jog the trails on our acreage as the weather permits with our dogs. For some reason T was way behind. He darted in front of me to take lead and stopped to look back at me. We ended up tumbling head over paw. Not funny at the time, but is now.


A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


Tweeted too
marybug2 at yahoo dot com

Kristin Gailloux

My mom and I used to walk 2 miles to the donut shop to get our exercise in.

Beth M

I can't think of anything funny but I workout on the eliptical at the gym every morning and before I go I have a piece of toast which is 100 calories. After my workout which burns 330 calories, I always feel like I'm starting my day at -230 calories and that feels awesome!



Brad Murray

My quadruplet boys recently started belting "kumbaya my Lord" to a hotel lobby full of business suits and skirts. I immediately went to shush them, but then everyone in the room started laughing and smiling at them. Guess they turned out to be the entertainment....


I think food is a good motivator. So I reward myself for trying to stay active by a trip to the Chinese restaurant.


Please don't come after me for these!

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Tammy Darling

My son was riding his little tractor through the house and left a scuff mark on the floor. I told him to clean it up, he asked how so I told him to use elbow grease. He climbed off his tractor and started rubbing his elbow on the floor!


I was about 2 weeks into a new running program, and I had lost about 5 pounds. I was on the right track, when I tripped over my dog's leash and broke my foot! Now I am a couch potato and I don't want to be.


I once got so hungry while jogging that I ran over to a McDonald's (for shame, I know, but it was good lol!)!


I definitely like to reward my exercise with a little treat. I just try to keep it modest. Although once I was so desperate that I stopped for a sundae on the way home from the gym.


What's funny is, the exact same thing that motivates you to exercise is the exact same thing that motivates me to exercise.

I fell in step class. That's funny, yes?


I am not getting older I am getting better. That was written by someone who was 21 years olds.

Paula Hafner

My 3 year old son said he was strong, Daddy was strong, and Papaw was strong. Then he said, "you're not strong, Mommy," I asked him about Mamaw. He said. "She's not strong and she kind of slow." I thought it was funny but Mom was not amused :)


My funniest diet story is my period of experimentation with diet food. Apparently, most low cal, sugar free foods have an unwelcome side effect. Suffice it to say, without getting graphic, that I took many trips to the restroom.

I have learned that for me, it is better to eat balanced meals with "real" ingredients rather than food laden with sugar or fat substitutes.

pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com



pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com

Darcy B

I don't drive--and I take a lot of grief about the subject--so when we are at the super market I make my husband push the cart--"I can't push the cart--I don't have my license". While in the supermarket if I run across something strange I put it in my husbands cart when he's not looking--just to get him to smile--pinata, giant pink stuffed cat, 3 ft tall bottle of hot sauce etc. Last weekend I stuck a giant purple panda in my husbands cart and as I waited for his reaction I heard a moan start to squeal with delight --she was telling the man she was with that she loved her giant purple panda so much!! (I placed it in the wrong cart--and her friend was taking credit for my goofy act)


Spending a LOT of money on this Medical Weight Management program I’m on motivates me to keep exercising. I’m not willing to risk the time & the money I’ve put into it.

Thanks for the giveaway >^..^<

addrienne mertens

some days i cant even walk 2 blocks down the street to pick up my son at school. so i drive. my excuse now..its getting cold here on the east coast!

catherine copeland

This might seem funny but it seems funny to me that I used to reward myself for working out by buying nachoes and slurpees. Ah hello? An hours worth of aerobics does not make it OK to pig out. I suppose that's why I gained weight instead of losing it. DUH!!!


My son and his Dad went to Mcdonalds drive through. The Big and Tasty's had just came out. He said his Dad ordered a Big and Nasty. To this day we laugh about that.


This was so funny and I wish I would of gotten it on video but I didnt but anyways our kitty girl was sitting out on our front stoop and the neighbor over on the other road's Bulldog came in the yard around our decorative wall near the front stoop. Our kitty spied him and took off after him with her tail in FULL spread-ness and Straight up and Man ... You ought to see that big doggy run! He ran clear down the road, up the hill and out of our sight even though our kitty stopped at the edge of our yard about 50 feet out.Was so cute to see we all had a good laugh.

Erica C.

My guy and I started a crazy workout program not too long ago. We did it outside during the stink bug problem we had on the east coast. When we went inside later, I freaked out after finding a stink bug in my shirt!

Heather W

When I first started on the treadmill, the remote fell to the ground and changed channels. It turned on a stupid soap opera, but I didn't want to stop to pick it up and change it, so I just left it on and watched it. I ended up getting sucked in, run every day at that time to watch it! Haha never would admit that to anyone!
Lovefool827 (at) yahoo (dotcom)

Sarah L

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis (not funny) and my doctor recommended swimming as good exercise for me.
I hadn't been swimming for many, many years and had forgotten how to swim and still keep breathing. I managed to inhale a bit while under water and came up spluttering. I now swim 3 times a week and love it, but it was a hard beginning.
Thanks for the contest.

Betty C

I was using a new to me treadmill and wasn't totally familiar with how it worked. I didn't read the directions first so I stepped on and turned it on. When it didn't start moving right away I bumped up the speed. It shot me off the back, I grabbed the side bar to keep from falling and dislocated my shoulder. I don't feel friendly toward treadmills.

Sarah L

blogged: http://slehan.blogspot.com/2010/11/laughing-for-150.html

Sarah L



Whats has motivated me to start dieting, is I am starting to look like a penguin. LOL

itsjustme62613 at gmail.com




itsjustme62613 at gmail.com

Susan Smith

I was so proud of myself because I was going to start walking and get into shape. My husband was skeptical I could do it. I left the house after dinner and started walking saying I would walk for 1 hour. I admit I got worn out about 1/2 through so I stopped at the park to rest and started talking to someone I knew for about 1/2 hour then I went back home. My husband said he was impressed that I acutally walked 1 hour. I said see I told you I could do it, untill my son pipes up that he saw me at the park sitting for the last 1/2 hour. I was busted.

Susan Smith



My mom had a rotty and I was visiting with the girls- being the goofball that I am I would randomly grab a kid and start singing and dancing away. Playboy (the dog) growled so I thought okay don't dance with the nephew he thinks I will hurt him but nope- wasn't the dog at all.
The big doofus wanted his turn to dance he clomped over and put his paws on my shoulders and was happy as a clam as we boogied around the living room.

Aaron Bretveld

My funniest story would probably be the time when I was on a little used trail not too far from my work that I exercise on occasionally. I turned a corner and then stopped dead in my tracks. There was a pretty big doe right in the middle of the trail maybe 15 front of me. She just stood there for a couple of seconds so I think she was as shocked about seeing me and I was about her. Then she just ran off into the forest


When isn't a door a door.... when it is ajar.. uhg get it? suelee1998 @ gmail.com

michelle tucker

I'm not sure it's funny, but I'm losing weight due to many health problems. I wasn't taking care of myself at all. All my blood work looked like it needed major help. Anyway, after 3 months of doing everything right and taking meds and working out, I went to the doctor and my doc tells me that my numbers are absolutely positively PERFECT. If nothing else will motivate you, that will. I smiled at her, she said "What the heck are you doing and can you talk to my other patients please?!" I laughed and said I stop people and talk to them all the time who are my age and try to give them pep talks. If I can do it, I know anyone can.

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