Committed

When I got married, over six years ago (at the ripe age of 23), I was not a skeptic on the institution of marriage. I'm still not a marriage skeptic, no doubt because my own marriage has been lovely, but I was, undoubtedly, a wedding skeptic. I wasn't so sure about the big white dress and thousands of dollars spent on floral arrangements and a D.J. that would play Hot in Here, whether I wanted him to or not. We satisfied my wedding skepticism by doing things our way—I wore a tea length party dress, we bought buckets of daisies, and hired an oldies band for a simple backyard picnic.

I love when people do things their way. Which is why I so enjoyed Elizabeth Gilbert's new book, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage (Viking; $26.95). Here's the skinny:

At the end of her bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. (Both were survivors of previous bad divorces. Enough said.)

But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government, which—after unexpectedly detaining Felipe at an American border crossing—gave the couple a choice: they could either get married, or Felipe would never be allowed to enter the country again. Having been effectively sentenced to wed, Gilbert tackled her fears of marriage by delving into this topic completely, trying with all her might to discover through historical research, interviews, and much personal reflection what this stubbornly enduring old institution actually is.

The book is part autobiography, part travelogue, part historical study, part academic theory. I throughly enjoyed the read (what’s not to love about anything non-law at this point in my life?), but I was particularly fond of Gilbert's firsthand experiences. Truth be told, I read quickly through the heavily researched bits, but slowed to savor the personal accounts. She's insightful, clever, humorous.

{For those of you who have the book—or plan to get a copy—I just adored Gilbert's description of her dinner at Keo's house, staring on page 150. The basin filled with frogs, the chicken on a twine, the blowing fan, and, of course, the love! Doesn't this pique your curiosity? Frogs in the sink!}

I haven't yet read Eat, Pray, Love, which is probably for the better considering what appears to be constant comparison between the two (with EPL coming out the clear victor). But, I'm looking forward to reading EPL, I suspect I'll enjoy it, and I don't even mind that I've read the two books out of order. Like Gilbert, I do things my way.

In the interest of full disclosure, I received a review copy of the book for free from the wonderful folks at Penguin.

Comments

[Hope]

I might have to check it out!

[lesli]

I read Eat, Pray, Love when it first came out and it was really thought provoking and held my interest all the way through. So I do want to read her newest book, so it will go on my library list.

But what do you mean chicken on twine and frogs in the basin?? You know I am a vegetarian! Is this book going to freak me out?? Ha ha!

[jesser]

EPL was AOK, but the author struck me as a bit self-centered and immature and she kinda lost me with all that stuff at the Ashram. I will probably add this to my reading list, though. I like histories of commonplace "things."

[Leah]

I really loved EPL, and I'm excited to read this book too. I'm not a marriage skeptic, per se, but I am nervous about getting married myself. I'm just not sure I'm ready. Perhaps this will help give me some perspective.

[Katharine]

I am SO glad to hear a positive review. The few I've read have been less than stellar. I think not having read EPL probably helped - nothing to compare it to. I'm not expecting it to measure up, but I WAS hoping to appreciate its different view on marriage. Thank you for sharing!