Decidering, Part 25

I received two decidering questions in my inbox from the lovely Katherine, who needs help choosing a college and a prom dress.

Let's start with the college decision. She's ultimately interested in nursing and is deciding between Cal Poly San Luis Obispo and U.C. Davis.

Two towns that I absolutely love. It's like having to choose your favorite child. Or ice cream flavor.

I decide: U.C. Davis. First of all, have you heard about Picnic Day? More importantly, for your purposes, U.C. Davis has a large, award-winning Medical Center, which includes a number of specialty clinics, and it seems to me that there may be greater opportunity for hands-on type experiences and internships.

Plus, the bike lanes here are magnificent.

Moving on to prom dresses! Here are her choices:

She writes that "the blue one is more elegant while the black and white one is a bit more scandolous, with a completely open back and two triangles of skin showing on the front stomach area."

This is so seriously not the question for me. You see, once upon a time, in the late 90s, I was a high school senior and I couldn't decide between two dresses for my senior prom. So, what I did was, I bought two dresses and changed outfits halfway through the prom. Yes.

You see, I was torn between two equally fabulous dresses: an elegant, silky maroon number and a more scandalous stretchy, backless black mermaid-style dress. I bought both, with the intention of returning one of them when I made a final decision. I brought them both home and my dad jokingly said I should just wear both.

And so I did.

The black stretchy dress was basically wrinkle-free (hello lycra! it was the 90s, after all), so I rolled it up and put it in my purse. Halfway through the prom, I went to the ladies room and changed dresses. Elegant, silky dress for dinner; black, mermaid affair for dancing.

Since I have to make a decision for you, though, here's what I recommend: go with the more elegant option. Generally speaking, when I look back at photos from high school, I am mortified by the photos in which I am wearing trendy (for the time) items--things like baby doll tees, flannel shirts, combat boots, tuxedo pants. On the other hand, when I see photos of myself in a great classic item, I find myself thinking, "what ever happened to that lovely black turtleneck sweater? I'd so still wear that now!"

So, if you can't change halfway through, go classic. You'll thank me in 10 years.

What do y'all think? U.C. Davis or Cal Poly SLO? Classic or scandalous?

Comments

[Jennifer Berthiaume]

I see that you are still loving the classic black turtle necks? haha

And I totally agree with the classy option. I would normally have gone with the scandalous one because I'm the type of girl that loves to make a splash. My prom dress was bubble gum pink, after all. [And I made my boyfriend wear a pink vest!] But looking back on my prom, the cut outs are a definite No-No. I'm glad my mom didn't let me buy a dress with them!

[The Maiden Metallurgist]

I can't opine on the university part of the question, but I vote for scandalous! You're only 18 once! I wore the most ridiculous dress to my senior prom, almost gave my (mormon) date's mom a heart attack! I don't remember anything else about the prom now, but I remember my scandalous dress!

[Laura]

I don't know about college choices, but classy dress all the way. I cringe when I see my younger cousins dressed in scandalous numbers.

[Leah]

With college, I say she should go to the place that gives:

1. a better vibe (very subjective, naturally)
2. more opportunities for lab work, internships, etc

When you get out of college, the thing that helps you get jobs is your experience working. Your grades rarely matter (tho you do need to have taken certain classes for some jobs), but those hands-on experiences? Whoo-boy, are they important. Much better to do grunt work and drudgery in college when you already have someplace to live than to work for peanuts when you're trying to pay back student loans and be an adult.

With the dresses: the blue one, because it is lovely.

[Jen]

I don't think classy vs scandalous is the issue. I think she should decide based on which one she looks better in and/or which one is more comfortable.

As for college, I agree with the post about visiting them both and going with the one that has the better vibe...although I hear some really amazing people have graduated from Davis.

[Maria]

Very very tough! I never went to my high school prom (ghetto-fab NYC public high school = lots of early 2000s "drop it like its hot" moves and really skanky girls + crap food out on Long Island) so instead I said %*^(# it, bought a $44 dress from J.Crew down from $88 (which I still own!) and went to the Four Seasons Restaurant on Park Avenue with the BF, now he husband.

He paid, I got a free chocolate soufle, he still teases me at how I froze when the waiter asked me if I wanted still or sparkling water (I was seventeen and it was my first time at a Gossip Girl-worthy restaurant!), and it was the BEST thing I ever did.

Still have the dress and still wear it; the money that I would have spent on limo, tickets and stuff went to a kick-ass meal (everyone at school told me they were really jealous in between fights about limos and which color was appropriate for the acrylic manicure).

In short, go for classy. You are going to want to look at your prom photos 10, 20, years from now and be like, "That was an awesome outfit. I looked great" not "WTF WAS I THINKING?!?!?" Plus, cutouts are wrong. VERY VERY wrong. Unless its like a slim keyhole in the back like this one Milly dress I'm eyeing for a wedding (total splurge and really out of my league but it's worth a shot).

My mother still keeps a photo of me and the hubby at our "prom" in her wallet and proudly shows it off to anyone who asks what her son-in-law looks like.

As for the colleges, erm I have no clue about that. I never left NYC for college and what I know about the West coast can fit onto the head of a pin.

[Cat]

I agree, go with the classy dress. Mostly just because I'm partial to classic style, like Audrey Hepburn. But it is true that your photos look better that way too. And I agree with UC Davis, partially because of the medical center and opportunities she'd have because of that. Plus you're closer to skiing!

[Anna]

Definitely classic. There's a reason why it's called a classic.

I have no idea about the schools.

[Hope]

Classic, all the way.

[lesli]

I LOVE that you had two prom dresses, just love that! And I also love the idea of having 2 wedding dresses as well. Because sometimes choosing between 2 fabulous dresses is just so hard and it is good to have options!

[Meg]

I can't speak to the college decision (both sound good to me!), but I definitely agree with going classic! When in doubt, choose the option you'll feel less embarrassed about in a decade. A good life motto. :)