Almost Foolproof

We went to two holiday parties this weekend and both of them involved that stressful gift exchange game where people are allowed to steal other people's presents. It is often referred to as a White Elephant Exchange and it is usually not fun at all because somebody inevitably gets stuck with a shitty gift and that somebody is usually me.

Until this year.

After we got porn last year, Will and I devised a plan of attack. A plan that means you will never go home with a set of plastic margarita glasses or another decorative Santa.

I am going to tell you the secret to the White Elephant exchange. The secret is: you must Always Steal. If you open a gift from the wrapped pile, there is a chance that you will open a box of Tupperware and, since nobody will want to steal Tupperware, you will be stuck with that damn Tupperware for the rest of your life or until you regift it. That is why you must Always Steal. That way, you will be choosing amongst already open gifts. No surprises. Always Steal.

Unfortunately, you cannot always steal. If you are among the first to choose a gift, there may not be anything to steal or all of the stealable items could majorly suck. Which is when you default to Plan B. Plan B is tricky because in Plan B you must Open Your Own Gift. You know what it is. You picked it. It shouldn't suck. However, the Open Your Own Gift Plan requires a bit of pre-planning because you must sneak your gift into the pile when no one is looking, that way nobody knows you are opening the gift you brought.

The plan worked well for us this year. At both parties we came home with the exact gift we brought. Kinda tacky, yes. But, also, good gifts! Yay! We did make an attempt to get a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka, but alas, we got jacked, and had to default to our own gift because it was that or the great unknown under the tree, where Tupperware and scented candles were just waiting to be unwrapped. You just don't want to go down that road.

Let's review:
1. Always Steal
2. Open Your Own Gift

Drink wine, take home a fabulous gift, kiss the dog. Good times.

Comments

[janet]

I have miraculously avoided all White Elephant parties this year, but I do appreciate your handy dandy guide! It's easy enough to remember for next year even.

[Chris]

We did a work white elephant thing last week but there was neither porn nor alcohol. I think you got the better deal.

[Lissa]

This past year at my holiday party I stole the most sought after gift and then I hid it behind my chair. When people started looking at other peoples gifts to steal I would just look down at my glass of wine with a somewhat perplexed look on my face so people just thought I was drunk. Eleborate plan? Yes, but it so worked!

[Sijbrich]

You guys are geniuses. Luckily, I have avoided the gift exchanges this year, but I've been in enough of them to know that your plan is such a good idea. Thanks for sharing.

[joleen]

LOL good plan!

[Zandria]

I've never played that game, but I don't think I would like it. I think it sounds pretty smart, to buy something you like and then get to keep it. (As long as nobody else tried to steal it, I imagine.) Glad it worked out! :)