There's the Beef

Since the class I teach is designed mainly for high school seniors, a majority of my students graduated last week and we have attended a couple of graduation parties. Tonight we attended a barbeque for one of my favorite and funniest former students, Justin, whose party invitation advertised "One word: Beef." Justin is not so much interested in vegetables and he informed me that there would be "tons of tri-tip and hamburgers at the party...and chicken for the vegetarians." Sure enough, there were big platters of delicious tri-tip and burgers and, in the end, even some fruit salad and veggie trays for our vegetarian, Benji.

The party was fantastic, some of the best and brightest graduates in attendance, and Will and I were enjoying a lovely conversation with Justin's parents when Justin asked for some wood to build a fire in the backyard fire pit. Before long, the graduates were enjoying the warm fire on a cool summer evening. Soon, however, we realized that the fire was growing awfully large and noticed that the kids were not just burning firewood, but their high school books as well. Pages upon pages of notes and text were going up in flames, literally.

I rescued two hilarious English journal entries from the flames to share with you here. I should keep the student anonymous, since these are from his English class journal, but he is a wonderful young man. This journal is proof, I think, of how confused men really can be about certain issues. Here you go, exactly as it was written:

Journal #3

I don't think that women today feel the same pressure to marry as the men do. I don't think that women and men are under an equal amount of pressure to marry. Both genders' ideas about marriage are different, but at the same time quite similar.

Women, I think, like to be in control. They're either wanting to be in control or wanting to be the one that follows the lead of someone else. I know more girls that want to be in control than anything else. For example, I have a close friend, who is a girl, that will not marry until they can live on their own. Maybe she doubts herself to the point where she's making herself believe that, or she truly wants it that way.

I also know someone who is eighteen and wants to marry a man in his late twenties or early thirties. She, I think, is just lazy.

I don't know about you, but I totally want to be in control. Except for the times when I want someone else who I can follow around. You know?

After the jump, Journal #8, this student's favorite drinks, where everything is going splendidly until the tenth item when it all goes to hell.

Journal #8--Freewrite--My favorite drinks

- Brisk Lipton Iced Tea
- Coke
- Pepsi
- Dr. Pepper
- Cherry Coke
- Vanilla Coke
- Coke with Lime
- Apple juice
- Grape juice
- Margaritas
- White wine--Zinfandale
- Champagne
- Beer
- Mike's Hard Lemonade
- Wine Coolers
- Water
- Milk
- Orange juice
- Grapefruit juice
- Cranberry juice
- Chlorophyl water
- Cranberry apple juice
- Root beer
- Sprite

I love the teacher's comment at the end: "You're not supposed to be drinking some of these. +5"

Comments

[Benji]

Yes last night's party was a lot of good clean fun. Just socializing with good people and hanging out as we all tend to do. I enjoyed the fruit and veggies, I thought if I didnt eat them, no one would. "Chicken for the vegetarians" - cracks me up.

[Pink Chihuahua Princess]

Gee, I wonder how you would live as a married couple if it weren't on your own.

After each semester in law school there was a big bonfire party where you could go a burn your law books from that previous semester. Of course, as in any law school function there was tremendous drinking and lots of juicy secrets. But, the burning of knowledge was there as well.

[Jen]

What is chlorophyl water?

[Jeannette]

That was really funny. I know whos book you read as well at what his clorophyl water is. That was a very fun night I will see you soon!

[H.A. Page]

I loved this whole post and I love the book list that you are reading.

Rescued writings from the fire. That could make a good topic for a book. Or inspired writing...

You sound like a wonderful teacher.

Cheers.

[Wende]

I guess we should be happy there was no hard alcohol flying solo on that list? That White Zin makes the list cracks me up.

The party sounds like fun. :)

[Jennifer]

My son is 18 and just graduate from high school.. wonder if that's how he thinks.