You Do the Math

This is the story of a pen. Not just any pen, but a Dr. Grip pen, which is the best kind of pen you can buy at Target for under $9.99. I am fully aware that nobody wants to hear the story of a pen because pens are very boring and unimportant, but I am going to tell you the story of the pen anyway because

1. everything else I write about is boring and trivial so why try and get all significant and important now and
2. I need you to be the jury, people. This is like Court TV, only better.

We have two Dr. Grip pens—Will has a silver one, I have a purple one. Will keeps his pen neatly tucked away in the center console of his car, I keep mine on the floor under the couch or on the kitchen counter. Sometimes I keep it in the desk drawer, but usually not.

The other day, while we were driving around in Will’s car, I needed to write something down. As I opened the console, Will said something like, “The Dr. Grip is not in there. Hmmm…I WONDER what happened to it?” in a jokingly accusatory tone that suggested that I was the reason that the Dr. Grip was missing.

It does not look good when you cannot keep track of your own pen, and now the pen of the King of Organization had gone missing.

Maybe I had stolen the pen. Maybe I had stolen the pen because mine is currently misplaced.

And then again, maybe not. Yesterday I found the pen. It was in my car, which would, yes, make me the prime suspect, HOWEVER, it was wedged in a stack of Algebra books and Geometry diagrams and, y’all, I do not do math. There is a math teacher in the house, but it is not me.

Last week, Will drove my car to school and he left all his crap on my front seat including the elusive pen. Uh huh.

The question is this: since I took the unwarranted blame, should I keep the pen? Should I get restitution in the form of a new Pink Dr. Grip?

Or should I take the high road since Mr. SoPink is so good-natured and cute and give the pen back?

Comments

[Fraulein N]

I say you get restitution. I also say that that is a divine looking pen, and I think I need one right now.

[QOB]

Halloooooo?! This is a total "DUH!" Must I remind you of the NAME OF YOUR BLOG?! (Shakes head.) I can't believe you're still wielding a purple pen...

BTW, anyone named 'Fraulein' is instantly cool in my book. I'll be by to check you out in a minute, sister.

[rachael]

OOhhh... a hard one! Restitution. Pink. Yes. Pink always wins.

R.

[Dawn]

I say hold the silver one ransom for the shiny new pink one.

However, I would probably just give the silver one back, because I am too nice for my own good.

[Nora]

Pink! Get the Pink!

[Lauren]

Get the pink! Give the silver back but get the pink....or hold the silver ransom. Whatever floats your boat!

[mr.honeydew]

Better yet, taunt him with the fact that "Mr. Organized" misplaced his beloved pen and then blamed lil' ol' innocent you for it. Tell him the one sure-fire way that you will forgive him for the accusation is if he buys you a shiny new pink one. Guilt can be a very powerful tool otherwise we would not have Catholicism.

BTW, fancying myself quite the writing utensil connoiseur, my current fave is the Uniball Vision Elite. I cannot write with rolling ball pens--especially Bic. They are the devil.

[joleen]

Hahaha! First of all, pens ARE important! The office supply section of any store is my candy aisle! :) Secondly shame on Mr. Pink for his assumptions but seeing as he's cute (your words but I'll agree ;) ) I say give it back. Then, go to Target, and buy yourself the pink one seeing as you're such a great person. :D

[datingirl]

O-or (option number 3...yes- two syllables)- because Mr. SoPink is so good-natured and cute he should take the even higher-road and graciously invite you to keep the pen. You'll be thinking of him and smiling to yourself everytime you use it.

[mr.honeydew]

I disagree. If this doesn't wind up with you getting the pink pen I may get all misty-eyed every time I see a pink pen. I simply couldn't bare the thought of you not getting that pink pen. And I will feel completely foolish as I break down in the office supplies section of SuperTarget as unwitting passersby see me sobbing there for no apparent reason. To further my humiliation I will be forced to consider the fact that I am doing so over some woman I will never meet, on some blog I read about a pen that has absolutely no consequence to my life. So for my sake, your sake, and for your other dear readers sake who are likewise affected by this seemingly inconsequential event... MAKE YOUR HUSBAND GET YOU THE DAMNED PINK PEN! You see, this isn't just about YOU. Thanks. :^)

[nicole]

To the winner goes the spoils and Janet, you are totally the winner. Sorry, Will. I think the jury is out.
I never thought I'd be jealous of a pen. xoxo

[Heidi]

PINK all the way!
And since I am so devious I would put the silver pen back in his car so that he finds it later......... Heheheheh!

[katey]

get the pink pen, whereupon you will immediately locate the purple pen, and then put the silver pen somewhere strange where only Mr. SoP could have left it. Like in his underwear drawer, or in the tool box, or just leave it in the books in your car until he finds it.

Or, if you're feeling nice, just innocently tell him that he left a stack of math books in your car, and did he check there for his pen?

AND, and pens are REALLY important, ask anyone who knows me, I have the biggest collection of pens in the universe (outside an office supply store anyway) there's no way they'll ever all run out of ink, ever.

[katey]

there are seven, count em, seven pens laying on the desk in front of me right now, and that's just what has been used recently. there's an entire taboret FULL of pens about a foot and a half away from me.

pen addicts of the world unite!

[SaraJane]

Damn, that really is the best pen in the whole world! The only pen I have kept track of long enough to run out of ink!!!

Now I want to go to target. Ohh, better yet, I will have the supply girl order me one!!!!!!

[Stephanie]

The majority....get the damn PINK pin.

[Lucy]

Obviously you have to get the pink one. I don't think you have any obligation to give the silver one back, either, since it was left in your car. That's the rule in our house, anyway, if it's left in the car, it's up for grabs. Also, whoever does the laundry gets to keep all the money found in the washer. Once I made over $25. Whenever I need a little extra cash, I wash the clothes.

[Zandria]

It looks like you have a lot of opinions going on here. I must say, if it would make you happy...the pink pen it is! There really could be more of those small pleasures in life. :)

[alfredsmom]

Who knew a post on a pen could be so popular? Btw, I went to the drug store on my lunch break, and I happened to catch a glimpse of the famed Dr. Grip pink pen... Nice.

[shannon]

Damn straight you get the pink pen! Hmmm now I must check out the famous pen next time I'm in Target.

[Karla]

You must take the pen and write on his forehead while he sleeps: "Have you seen my missing pen?"

[mr.honeydew]

A whole day without a pen update is making me a little anxious...

[Maribeth]

Get the Pink one and be done with it! I have now decided I am getting a new one. My Dr. Grip disappeared and I found it broken on Hubby's dresser. So I'm going shopping! Wonder what color a dachshund likes?

[Leesa]

I have one of these! I say you should have the pink pen, since you are "Slice of pink"! He should have the silver. :)