I think the people at Martha Stewart Living have run out of ideas. These are actual articles and recipes in my July issue of Martha Stewart Living, which arrived in my mailbox five days after it arrived on magazine racks. What is the point of subscribing if you don’t get the shit before everyone else?
FRIED YUCA WITH LEMON
Finally, something to do with that pesky 5 pound of yuca.
COLLECTING: CORN HOLDERS
A collection for the corniest of collectors.
EARTHY AND APPEALING ADOBE
Okay, you start with some organic mud...
PAPAYA AND GRAPEFRUIT WITH YOGURT AND LEMON BALM
Is it a food or a spa treatment?
TOMATO, PEACH, AND HYSSOP SOUP
Great! Fresh hyssops are on sale this week at Vons!
And, finally, an answer to this reader’s question:
LAST SUMMER MY LAWN LOOKED TIRED AND BROWN. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT ITS APPEARANCE THIS YEAR?
Uh, water it, birdbrain. Maybe a little fertilizer.
I think I'll go ahead and start answering Martha's questions. If you have a dilemma about your lawn or anything else, shoot me an email. This is easy!
Thank you, come again.
I've been saying all along that her whole empire is based on crap. Look at the stuff she says. It's all common sense dressed up in words you don't know and fruit you've never heard of. It's just crap...
Posted by: NCTRNL | June 16, 2005 at 12:14 PM
I stopped my subscription to her magazine a long time ago. I hated looking at her calendar of frilly crap she had to do and hearing her talk about her 15 houses, plus, almost none of the stuff in there was doable. The only thing I could do with that magazine was look at the pretty pictures. It was like looking at an art book or something.
malia
Posted by: Malia | June 16, 2005 at 12:24 PM
Yeah! I agree! The summer issues used to be the best - now they kinda suck a little.
Rachael
Posted by: rachael | June 16, 2005 at 04:28 PM
All *I* know is she can't iron a shirt! She was on tv and the first thing she did was to make a super sharp crease at the top of the sleeve, starting at the shoulder. *Everyone* knows that's all wrong. All wrong.
Plus I have a friend who worked for her for ONE DAY cuz Martha is just as bad as everyone says.
That ranted, I still think she didn't deserve jail.
Oh, and hi. I"m a lurker, came from Tim's page which I found through next blog so I send him white light all the time...
...and I'm nowhere near as stupid as I sound :)
Posted by: nita | June 17, 2005 at 07:49 AM
'Real Simple' is the new 'MSL'. Very smart, very informative.
Posted by: QOB | June 17, 2005 at 10:23 AM
What is your view on ABORTION?
While Muslims and Catholics even regard contraceptive evil, Would you like to know what do most people think of these religious taboo?
See it from the divine perspective ...
Posted by: La Bona | June 17, 2005 at 04:41 PM
WHOA! I thought we were talkin' MSL. How rather, rude.
Rach
Posted by: Rachael | June 17, 2005 at 07:25 PM
YOU, La Bona, are certainly NOT A GOOD THING. I went ahead and deleted your URL, so your free advertising is, poof!, gone. However, I am leaving your comment here in case any of my friends want to TALK SOME SHIT ABOUT YOU! Peace Out!
What is your view on THIS, biaaatch!?
Also, what is your view on PINK? We all like the PINK around here.
Posted by: Janet | June 17, 2005 at 09:28 PM
I FREAKING FEEL YOU! What is up with the recipes and what is up with getting the magazine after everyone else. Ticks me off, but I love the photos.
Posted by: Lu | June 18, 2005 at 05:33 PM
Martha lost me when she was giving renovation tips in one of the decorating issues. The subject was painting your walls, and the gist of her advice? Make sure you hire licensed painters and communicate with them. Yeah. I do all my own painting, cause you know, I think that's the meaning of do-it-yourself, stupid arrogant broad.
Posted by: lucy | June 20, 2005 at 08:58 AM