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In 2005, my husband went on a ten-day detox. He ordered a book from the Internet, a little ten or twenty page guide, that described the steps for The Master Cleanse. The Master Cleanse is a very bizarre detox program that is also often referred to as "The Lemonade Diet." At first I imagined that I might be also be able to follow The Lemonade Diet detox--I imagined sipping cool glasses of fresh-squeezed lemonade on the porch, maybe with a sprig of lavender or a splash of cherry juice.
The name, however, is deceiving. Lemonade, as used to describe the stuff you drink on this detox, is a complete misnomer. Yes, there is lemon juice in the "lemonade" recipe and water, but the other two ingredients? Pure maple syrup and cayenne pepper. Perhaps you can imagine the flavor that is created by mixing lemon juice, pure maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. If you can't imagine the taste, it is probably better that way. Believe me. It's gross.
So, for ten days, Will drank at least two quarts of so-called lemonade per day. In addition, he drank a "salt water flush," which is the second component of this bizarre detox program. It consists of water and salt. Slice of Pink is far too classy a place to talk about the results of drinking one liter of salt water. Suffice it to say, the solution is indigestible.
My husband constantly amazes me with his resolve and willpower, but the determination it took to stick to a ten-day detox involving an unpalatable lemon-syrup-pepper concoction and a daily liter of salt water is pretty admirable (and, also, a little crazy, even he will admit). He mixed up big batches of the lemonade in a plastic bottle and carried it around all day, sipping on the beverage. Although he had eaten no solid food, by day three Will said that he wasn't hungry anymore. He had even recruited his cousin to the program, perhaps in an attempt to have a companion in the craziness (isn't it always better to have a sidekick when you are engaged in some nutty endeavor?).
Admittedly, I tried the detox. I drank a grand-total of three sips of salt water and three sips of the repulsive lemonade mixture. There was probably some dramatic gagging involved and I immediately declared that detoxing was so not for me.
And then I took myself out for a smoothie.
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