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August 16, 2010

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Stephanie Court

Alright, I got a good story for you. My roommate last year was a new 1L so of course her main sustenance was Lean Cuisines and coffee. One day, while we were in the kitchen together, she decided to show me how she can actually cook. She pulled out a bag of frozen vegetables, dumped them in a pan, then placed it on a burner on our gas stove. After a while, the veggies were still frozen and the kitchen smelled like cooking gas. She turned to me and asked, "Why aren't these cooking? I don't get it." I looked at the burner and realized she turned it to "Medium" without pausing on "Lite" to light the flame, so she had essentially just been letting the gas run out all that time! I pointed this out, showed her how to light it, and we laughed.

But that's not the end of the story. When I asked her, "What did you think the word 'Lite' meant?" She said, "I thought that would make it diet food." I don't recall her touching the stove again after that!

Stephanie Court

http://bigmariolife.blogspot.com/2010/08/who-wants-to-win-150.html

Hope

I once mistook my mom's salt jar for a sugar bowl. But that's more disgusting than funny.

An old roommate kept MSG in a sugar canister. I put it in my coffee. That wasn't funny... but it started to get funny the next time I did it!

Julie

Okay, here's a funny little story. I got married last month and my Dad and I did the traditional father/daughter dance. Right when we got started he says, "We should have practiced!" He didn't let the lack of practice stop his hammed up performance. He was twisted and shaking and at the end, led himself into multiple twirls around me. Very funny, if not a little embarrassing!

Angel @ Hypnotic Blend Giveaways!

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!".

14. Do you ever wake up grumpy?
No I always let her sleep.


kytah00@yahoo.com

Angel @ Hypnotic Blend Giveaways!

TWEET https://twitter.com/kytah00/status/21518533272 kytah00@yahoo.com

Angel @ Hypnotic Blend Giveaways!

BLOGGED ABOUT GIVEAWAY @ http://hypnoticblend.blogspot.com/p/sponsored-giveaways.html kytah00@yahoo.com

Melissa Oklahoma

Last year I scheduled a much needed vacation. To Hawaii, nonetheless. A girlfriend from school was living there and invited me to come stay the week. I was pretty excited.

On the day of my flight, I woke up extra early (I believe it was 430 am) and drove myself to the airport, parked in long term parking, and rode the shuttle to the check in.

I attempted the self check in, but kept getting the error message. Perplexed, I gave the attendent my printed out itnerary and he began trying to locate me in the system. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped and handed me the itinerary back and informed me that my flight wasn't until the NEXT morning.

Ooops!

Melissa Oklahoma

Twitter post about giveaway!

http://twitter.com/MelissaOklahoma/status/21590934555

Shoppingchic

well this is my sister's story, but i have permission to use it. When she was learning to bake, she couldnt tell the difference betwen salt and sugar, so she added 1.5 cups of salt instead of 1.5 cups of sugar to a cookie recipe, and needless to say they were NOT edible!

Melinda

My husband works in education and his kids were coloring pictures of themselves, and this one little boy walked up with a picture that was only half done, so my husband asked the kid, why didn't you color the boy in the picture in? He's blank, and the boy replied "I can't find the caucasian marker" We thought it was cute :)

Mjf926 at mail dot com

Bluegirl

Email: bluegirl1423@gmail.com

Comment: My story consists of a cat that likes water and a toilet. Our cats usually jump up onthe toilet lid to get to the sink for some water, but I dont think they realized that we have to put the lid down before they can jump up, and one day our little boy kitten jumped up, not thinking,and in he went . . . so we had to wash him off, as we hadn't flushed yet :-/

sean

Here is a "funny" story, but more like frustrating:
Our brand new Amana dishwasher broke 10 months after we got it, so we had one ocmpany out, then another company out to fix it, only to find out the part we needed was backordered for 2 months, so they decided to replace it, so we waited 3 weeks for that to come in, and when they came to deliver it, we found out it wouldn't fit . . . so now it's been 3 months and we are still without a dishwasher . . . funny, isnt it? :-P

seanm1999 at hotmail dot com

shoppingchic

http://twitter.com/shoppingchic2/status/21677925917

Tweeted!

Amanda A

My son asked the Target cashier why she was so wrinkly. I almost died of embarrassment! It seems like they never say those things quietly!

Carolyn G

It wasn't funny at the time but I actually once blew up the stove. Now it wasn;t like it totally blew up but I was cooking pasta and the water spilled on the flat top. This stove was old so the water leaked into where the heating elements are and it sizzled and popped and ons of black smoke came out. Luckily the breaker turned off and besides some smoke & the fire alarm going off, it was fine. The alarm company called and checked onme and I said, it;s fine. Nothing is going on. THey sent the fire dept anyway. So 2 fire trucks show up with about 10 firemen. The problem, I am in my jammies with my hair up like Pebbles Flintstones and I look like heck. They all came in, checked everything out and left. When I looked out the whole neighborhood was out. It was embarrasing but now funny!

Carolyn G

blogged here http://theartofrandomwillynillyness.blogspot.com/2010/08/blogher-contests.html

Auntiethesis

I have a tendency to burn anything I'm making and constantly set off the smoke detector when I'm cooking. My husband, children and I went to a restaurant for dinner and as we sat there, someone's pager went off across the restaurant and it sounded just like our smoke detector. My son turned to my husband and said "That sound means dinner's ready at home!"

Auntiethesis

Tweeted:
http://twitter.com/auntiethesis/status/21884543712

shel704 at aol dot com

Tammigirl

My little dog barks at me if I try to leave the house without earrings? Is that funny? I don't know, but it's funny to me.

When my youngest was three years old he was such a card. My cousin was on the piano bench. He walked up to her, swung his foot up on the bench and asked her (in his little Texan accent) "You wanna smell my stinky feet?"

We still laugh about it all the time

Megan

My desk chair is broken (new one on order) and while I was talking to my boss today it snapped out place and tossed me on the floor at my boss's feet.

Georgia

Once when my son was little, he wrote his grandmother the following letter:
A little boy wrote this letter to his grandmother:

Dear Grandmother,

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday last week. It would serve me right if you forgot mine next Tuesday, April 3rd.

gmissycat@yahoo.com

Leah

I am teaching my son letter recognition. We are currently on "Ii". I told him that "i" is lower case "i". I asked him what was capitol "I"? He said, "that is bigger-case "I"! I love my kindergartner!

Leah

I have a tendency of wearing my sunglasses pushed up on my head; I think it's a relic of my west coast upbringing. A few weeks ago, we were visiting my boyfriend's niece, who is one and a half. My sunglasses were sitting on the coffee table, and she brought them over to her mom. Her mom put the sunglasses, and the niece goes, "No, Leah hat!" She then pulled the sunglasses off her mom, brought them over to me, and said "hat, hat!"

Jill H

I was walking on the treadmil at the gym, minding my own business when this gorgeous guy decided to walk past me. I turned around to watch him go by, lost my footing and proceeded to do a face plant on the treadmill making a fool out of myself in front of someone I was hoping to perhaps get to know in the future. Several people around me were trying their hardest not to laugh but I must admit it was pretty funny.

Jill H

Tweet

http://twitter.com/jillyrh/status/22576288190

Kelly Massman

This is as funny as I get (I’m pretty serious)! My son always hated sweet potatoes when he was little–this was to the point where if we asked him to try one he would gag. One day, we had lunch at my sister’s. We had burritos. My son said they were the best burritos he had ever had. Guess what? There were sweet potatoes in them! We tease him to this day!

Krissy M

One morning I had a glass of milk before work, and I remembered that there was about half a gallon left. Later that day, my husband called me and asked me to pick up milk on the way home. "He must have been really thirsty," I thought. So I picked up the milk and later that night I went to get a glass out of the cupboard. And there was the half empty carton milk, in the glass cupboard, where I had put it before I went to work. Oops!

Debra F

Not a “real” cooking story, but so very funny. My husband had to dig up a pipe in the backyard to fix it. When he was done, he was going to seed it over, but the boys loved to dig in the dirt, so we decided to leave it for them to play in. A few weeks ago – the day after a rain – they went outside to play and I was getting dinner ready, doing chores, etc. I could hear them, but was so surprised after almost an hour that there was no fighting, yelling, crying, etc. I was thinking to myself, boy, they are getting along so nicely, I have such good boys maybe we can go out for ice cream after dinner as a treat. I stepped outside to compliment them on their behavior, and this is what I was greeted with

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2049417&id=1330555949&l=d4efff91b6

I must have said something like “What possessed you?” and my youngest (the one covered from head to toe) said “I was making mud pies for dinner, but the recipe went all wrong!” I could not do anything but laugh, but needless to say, the area was seeded by the weekend!

Debra F

tweeted
http://twitter.com/fairydancer35/status/22842649943

Kerry

I wanted to fry some fish recently and was out of breading for it. I looked in my freezer and found what I thought was some flour breading from the last time I had fried fish. Not exactly - it was powdered sugar left over from Christmas cookie baking. Luckily I figured this out before I started frying them.

Kerry

tweeted: http://twitter.com/KerryBishop/status/22912264490

Lewis F

Was blessed with an old-world grandmother. Although she didn’t teach me how to cook, I had an expectation of a high level of home cooking.

When I went to college some young women tried to impress me with a “home cooked meal.” Well, they (the dinners) were disasters.

I learned to feed myself, simple meals, likely solely by osmosis.

The young women would throw up their hands, as if in surrender, and I had to do the cooking.

shelly aka allysmama

I was supposed to make deviled eggs for a party, so I put the eggs on to boil and sat down at my computer. I became engrossed in what I was doing and forgot about the eggs...until I heard a small explosion in the kitchen. All the water had boiled out of the eggs and the eggs had gotten so hot, the yolks were exploding out of the eggs and shooting across the room! I'll never live that down!!

shelly aka allysmama

tweet
http://twitter.com/sleatham1/status/23177287280
bleatham*at*gmail.com

Erin

We bake pizza fairly often and found that placing a sheet of aluminum foil on the bottom of the oven saved us a lot of clean up of cheese drippings. We were proud of that simple but labor saving idea. That same year as we pre-heated the oven to roast our Thanksgiving turkey we smelled gas; it was strong enough to call the gas company to check for a leak. A very kind older man came to our house and, after testing the air with a device, found a significant level of gas. He looked in the oven and smiled. He asked us if the aluminum foil had been there while we were using the oven that day. We said yes, it had been there a while. He then informed us that it was covering the vents preventing the burner from getting enough oxygen to ignite.
We all had a good laugh at how foolish we were. We thanked the nice man for coming out on Thanksgiving and commiserated with him on his having to work on the holiday. We once more turned on the oven to preheat it, and he left, but I'm sure he laughed all night and couldn't wait to tell his buddies about the crazy couple that didn't know any better than to cover up the oven ventilation holes.

Carmen

Well, I recently blogged about my first experience trying to debone a chicken, which was QUITE a disaster: http://lifeblessons.blogspot.com/2010/08/getting-to-know-my-chicken-dinner.html

Here's a little excerpt:

"I decided I'd give it a try and picked up a whole chicken the next time I was at the grocery store, and took it home to discover the pastime of carving your own chicken.

As I pushed and prodded the poor creature, memories of 9th grade biology class and frog dissection came back. I couldn't figure out where I was supposed to cut and tried to pause and rewind the video tutorials to get a better understanding. It felt like the videos were in fast-forward mode, as the chefs sliced and diced with super-human speed. It wasn't nearly as easy as they made it look. Perhaps that's why they're the professionals?

Whereas the videos took less than a minute for the adept cooks and butchers, it took me about 45 minutes of snipping and tugging and sweating (seriously) to finally get my chicken carved up, although one drumstick and both wings got mutilated in the process (not sure how).

I shoved the cuts into the fridge, and washed my hands about 5 times once I was done, slightly grossed out by the hands-on experience I just had with my dinner. (Not to mention the extra parts that rolled out from the inside of my dinner during the operation .)"

Henria O.

One day a friend and I were eating lunch together. She happened to have pizza and I can't remember what I was eating. Anyway, during the course of our lunch we were talking and laughing. At one point, my friend laughed so hard that her bite of pizza flew out of her mouth and landing on my clothing!
sazzyfrazz t gmail dot com

Pauley

I have a funny story. I told my daughter that I could change the color on tv. We watched the Wizard of Oz and I told her I would change the color after Dorothy’s house crashed in the tornado. Her eyes opened up wide, and she was like, “Wow, Daddy, you were right!”

I don't have a funny cooking related story, except that my daughter loves dinosaur pancakes, rather than mickey mouse pancakes!

pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com

Pauley

http://twitter.com/lpauld68/status/24298162635

pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com

Thanks!

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