I'm in Burgers and Brew on Picnic Day. We are enjoying the lovely weather and two cold pitcher of beer on the patio. It's picnic day, so most of the crowd is drunk and loud, and we're enjoying people watching from our corner table.
Just as we finish off our first pitcher, the people watching gets good with the arrival of two very drunk and very angry patrons. They are a guy and a girl who appear to be together and she is obviously livid over something he did. We catch bits of the conversation--it appears that he got drunk earlier without her there and, apparently, there were some other girls present for his drinking escapade.
The girl was irate. And, also, very drunk. Which, you know: never a good combo.
So, the guy picks up a pitcher of beer from the counter and carries it back to the table. As he sets it down, a few ounces slosh onto the table.
He licks the spilled beer from the table.
He pours two glasses of beer.
She promptly dumps her glass down the front of her shirt and into her purse. The beer is streaming down her legs, onto the floor.
They continue to bicker as she attempts to dry the contents of her purse on her now beer-soaked shirt.
She gets really mad at something he says (or doesn't say, I suppose).
She picks up the pitcher of beer and throws it in his face. The guy sitting at the table behind the couple is now also covered in Stella.
The entire patio area is now watching. Riveted.
She picks up the pitcher again, presumably to dump the remaining beer on the guy.
In the excitement of the moment, Janet shouts out, "no no no no!"
The guy and girl turn and look at us. He gives our table a death stare. She, realizing that the entire restaurant is looking, sets down the pitcher.
She gets out her cell phone to make a call.
He grabs the phone, and in one swift motion, breaks the phone completely in half.
They are asked to leave.
The restaurant is abuzz. Patrons are sharing the version of the story from their angle. The guy at the table behind us videotaped the encounter. The Stella-soaked guy joins our table to hang out and share his impressions of the couple. He has one half of the phone, which was left behind during the couple's hasty exit, as a souvenir.
Two juicy burgers arrive with no one to claim them.