I've joked before about what I would do with an extra One Hundred Grand--spend it on a law degree, that's what--but now that Sarah Palin has spent $150,000 on clothes at Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus, I thought I'd do the same.
Except, you know, in the pretend shopping world. The world where sales tax does not exist.
When I started this post, I actually thought it was going to be fun. I'd just pick some expensive couture and add up the bill. It was not fun. It was actually a huge pain in the ass. We're talking about a boatload of clothes. I've never been much of a shopper anyway, so this just became an ultra-tedious task. Do you realize how many wool hounds-tooth dresses there are at Saks, all of which look practically identical?
Here it is: what I would be wearing had the RNC picked me as the Vice Presidential Candidate. What? I could have been picked. I have more formal education than Sarah, I can see Russia on a map, and I know some Supreme Court cases, too. I have a cute haircut. Totally qualified, my friends.
Armani Collezioni Raised Seam Tweed Jacket and Paperbag Pants $2190
Houndstooth Skirtsuit $598
Which puts us at $33,300. We have a long way to go, friends.
Capretto Classic Pumps $430
Basket Weave Bracelet $850
Jimmy Choo Riki Crushed Patent Bag $1750
Marc Jacobs Palais Royale Calf Bag $850
Valentino Bow Clutch $895
Bottega Veneta Atene Ayers Bucket Bag $3950
Ippolita Sterling Silver Snowman Disc Earrings $225
Bvlgari Round Fireworks Sunglasses $390
Burberry Cashmere Ribbon Muffler $495
Christian Louboutin Cancan Satin Clutch $1215
Yves Saint Laurent Minaudiere Satin Clutch $1395
Chloé New Heloise Bowler Bag $2030
Roberto Coin Diamond Earrings $1800
Adriana Orsini Jumbo Hoop Earrings $200
$93,827. Now, this is just boring.
Fuck it. Look, I'm buying everything Dior because a) it's really cute and b) it's really, really expensive.
I'm getting lazy, so you can go see it all here if you are seriously interested in prices for this stuff. Now we're at $119,242.
I've grown tired of shopping for myself. I don't want to shop for Will (boys clothes are even more boring than girls clothes, plus, give me a break, Will does not give two hoots about clothes at Saks) and I don't have any Pipers or Bristols running around to clothe in ultra-expensive couture garb. So, now I'm shopping for Michelle, my law school friend. She likes Dolce and Gabbana. Okay then.
All this can be found here.
We're only up to $129,137, so I am now going to blow a wad of cash on Manolos.
That was fun, but only cost about $7000.
I'm going to spend the remaining $15,000 on nylons. At $55 a pop, I can get 272 pairs, just for the sheer joy of it. Heh.
Makeup Artist, per week: $11,400
Hair Stylist, per week: $5,000
A candidate who is no longer "just one of us"? Priceless.