Last night I logged into MySpace, something I do once a month or so, just to see if I had any new comments or invites or old friends trying to track me down and show me photos of their new babies. I suck at MySpace. I don't write people back, I don't blog there, I've had the same pictures up since the day I created an account, and I never seek out people to be friends with. My page does have a cute pink polka-dot background which is the only reason I stick around.
Last night I discovered a feature on MySpace which allows me to search for people based on the schools they attended. I typed in my high school and an amazing 300-plus pages of alumni appeared. I further refined my search to allow only for people who graduated in my class, 1998, and 172 of my classmates showed up.
It was then that I realized that I need to cancel my MySpace account.
People in my age group, which is not the 13-18 age group, had things like this posted on their MySpace sites:
P.h.A.t GiRl If U @iNt Kn0W Wh@t It Me@nZ StEp B@cK!!!
"Remember your perfect... God makes NO mistakes!"
"Everybody poops in the potty...(only a two year old would understand)"
"~My LoVe FoR yOu Is LiKe ThE gRaInS oF sAnD oN tHe BeAcH eNdLeSs~"
Are they serious? I mean, seriously?
There were two people who had photos of themselves with snakes, three dozen people who had photos of themselves either pregnant or with their kid, and another few dozen photos of people wearing outfits only appropriate for jobs that involve being paid for sex or dancing on poles. Some people combine the hooker shot and baby shot in a photo that more or less adequately describes the cause and the effect in a single shot.
And the blinkies! Ohmygod, the blinkies! Glittering blinkies that let you know that they are PREGNANT! CRAZY IN LOVE! LMAO! YOU SO CRAZY! NAUGHTY!
It's like high school all over again: breaking the dress code, no clue about grammar basics, your degree of coolness defined by your number of friends. Except now we are 26.
No thank you.