No Laughing Matter

I'm on a budget. I cringe even using the word budget because it sounds so stifling and oppressive. My husband just loves the word budget and he actually enjoys making little spreadsheets and checking the bank account and being all impressed over how much money is in our retirement account, which we can't even touch until we are, like, 80 or something. It's like a little hobby for him, in the way most people enjoy knitting or reading or going to the theater.

Will has never put me on a budget of any kind because even the mention of the word makes me fall on the floor and get a headache around the sides and partially under it, Eloise style. Will cannot stand that kind of drama.

This new budget, my first ever budget, is totally self-imposed. I made it up myself! In June, I spent $1169, mostly at Target, and in the next four weeks I am going to try to spend less than half that, $500 to be precise.

I plan to take out $120 a week from the bank and spend only that for 7 days, with a $20 buffer. It seemed like a good time to start this crazy plan, because on Thursday I have my wisdom teeth out so I'll be chillin' at home and next week I am going to a conference for which I get $50 a day per diem, which of course does not count toward my $500 since I will get reimbursed. So really I will have $800, but only $500 of that is my own money.

The funny thing is that even though I put myself on a budget, and even though the budget has nothing to do with how much money is in the bank and everything to do with stopping the ridiculous daily trips to Target, I somehow cannot stop complaining about the restrictions of my budget. What has to fit in the budget, I ask? Do I have to buy groceries with my money? Do I have to buy cat food with my money? Because if I have to buy cat food with my money, the cat is going back to dry cat food only. Sorry Millie.

(I do not have to buy groceries with my budget money. I do not have to buy cat food with my budget money. Will is going to buy these items. This is good news.)

Last night, I was suggesting wild and exaggerated What If situations concerning my budget. What if someone broke in and stole all my summer dresses? Would I get an increase in my budget? What if I had spent all my money and needed gas to get to work? Would I be allowed to take out $20 more dollars? I asked these questions as if my budget were inscribed on golden tablets, voted on and allocated by the state legislature, rather than just some numbers I made up in my own head.

After a dramatic monologue concerning my cash and the events that would ensue if I lost it all at a train station, Will asked if I was going to blog about my new budget.

With a significant amount of drama, I announced that "no, I am not going to blog about my budget. There is absolutely nothing funny to say about my budget."

"What is funny," he responded, "is how NOT funny you think this all is."

So far, I've spent $12. After the jump is a recipe, which is what happens when groceries are free but eating out is not.

In a large skillet, sauté 1/2 chopped onion and 2 minced garlic cloves in olive oil until translucent. Add 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts which you have cut into 2 inch strips. When the chicken is cooked, add 1 can black beans, drained and rinsed. Stir in 1/2 cup hot salsa and a dash each of cayenne pepper and chili powder. Cook 2 minutes.

Serve with tortillas, sour cream, salsa, and shredded cheddar.

Comments

[Benji]

Looks like the robotics team found a new CFO, congrats Will.

[Pink Chihuahua Princess]

I'll have to make that recipe for my husband this week. It sounds like something he'd like.

Good luck with your new budget.

[Sijbrich]

Are you going to keep track of everything on your blog like you did with the June Money Madness? Can't wait to see your success!:-)

[Laura]

Yum, the recipe sounds not only delicious, but EASY! I am definitely going to try it. Good luck with your budget!

[Wende]

Oh, I'm so with you. However, my internship put me on a budget by not PAYING me for the year. S i g h. So, no dresses for me. I hope they enjoy seeing me in the same darn outfits every week...

On a related note, years ago IZ got fed up with my shoe fetish and announced, "For every pair you bring home you have to give up a pair." I laughed my fool head off at him, because, ahem, he's not the boss of me. However, he had a point.

But don't tell him, kay? Cause I'm not giving up any shoes.

[shannon]

Yeah so where in that budget do pink Crocs Mary Janes fit?

[TJ]

I can't believe what you spent $1100 on in the month of June. I guess if you have it to spend, then spend it.

[lissa]

I have done this budget and it is not fun! My gas money came out of my weekly money and that is sixty five dollars out of my hundred that I took out. (I didn't give myself a $20 buffer) I lasted about two months and then I went on shopping spree... so um yeah it didn't work out so well for me. But your husband will be your champion so I'm sure that will make all the difference! Good Luck!

[sandy]

I think that is a great idea. It will be intersting to see how it goes. It is hard for me to stay on budget....

[Sweety]

I have the same reaction to the budget word. However, it's a very smart thing to do. Good luck! :)

[Laurie]

Good luck on the budget - I am def. NOT the numbers person in our house and so I never seem to know how much is in our accounts or not - so my hubby lets me believe we never have any money so then I won't spend. Hrmmmm...sounds like I need to be more involved! Ha!

[Jesser]

oh lord. we've tried budgeting a lot and it's never stuck. we don't live beyond our means, but we probably also don't save as much as we should ... thank god for automatic deduction, or all the $$ would go straight to Target. tricky buggers.

[ally bean]

"I'm on a budget."

My condolences.

[Erin]

A Target just opened up here and I've become addicted. Good luck with your budget, I can definitely see how Target would put you in the hole. I'm avoiding it for the sake of my wallet.

[Malia]

I do think you should post it like you did June Money Madness. This will be interesting. I want to get on a budget, but I have not idea what should be included. Good luck Janet, I feel for ya and I'm proud of ya.

Malia

[Zandria]

You can do it, girl! I have faith in you. :)

[Jennifer]

You can do this Janet! Remember when you started the June Madness? I told you that I went on a spending diet for just 21 days. During those 21 days, I bought necessities only. Gas, lunch, diapers, etc, that sort of thing. I used my debit card for everything from a pack of gum (which is not on that necessities list) to phone bill (yes, that was part of my pay-out).. anyway, at the end of this diet, I had an extra $1000 in my checking account. My husband was ecstatic. And yes, I avoided Target as a place to buy any of my "necessities."

[janet]

I really need to do this. Except half my stuff is now wedding-related. I keep telling myself I will do it after the wedding. It might be a shock to the system. Good luck!!!

[touchofred]

Janet, I think that you should carpool to work with William, this should save some of the money you would normally spend on gas and give you a little extra money for the necessities such as Target shopping. Just a thought! I also think that you should celebrate your new budget with a new outfit.

[Jen]

Acck- a budget? That does not sound like fun. Good luck!

[Stacey]

So budgets are hard, but your recipe sounds really good. I'm in China and not even close to any form or variation of Mexican food or even cheddar cheese, but after reading your recipe all I can think of is really good cheese and sour cream. Apparently most of this country is lactose intolerant, and this results in a huge hole in the supermarket where good cheese should be. I'll have to try the recipe when I get home.

[Jennifer]

I saw June Money Madness and the envy increased as I scrolled. I compared, and I spent 80 dollars last month (60 on gas), where you spent over a thousand! I wanted a shopping spree... :)

[Mandy]

I think your budget is great.

I wish wholeheartedly that I could be one of those "numbers mean nothing to me, I don't even know what's in the account" people. Next time your hubby drives you nuts with his hyperorganization, just remember it's not easy being a slave to your inner control freak.