Losing Sleep

I am sleep deprived, y’all.

Recently, Will and I traded sides of the bed. The trade has to do with the mattress pad sinking in and some situation with Will’s pitching arm. Or something like that. He just said we needed to trade sides and so I rolled right over to his side because I could really give a hoot where I sleep so long as it is for a solid, uninterrupted 8 hours, thankyouverymuch.

The thing is, the alarm clock is now on my side of the bed. It’s been almost two years of marriage and I have no idea how to work the alarm clock we registered for at Target. There are about 30 buttons and you have to push them in complex combinations in order to set the thing and, quite frankly, I don’t think I have the capacity for learning to use the clock. You have to be a computer programmer to set the damn thing. I swear. But now, it is on my side of the bed and I feel responsible for ensuring that it goes off in the morning, which means I keep waking up to make sure that it isn't 9 in the morning, two hours past the time I was supposed to be at work.

Last night I was staring at the clock in the dark, LOSING SLEEP over whether the machine would wake us up in the morning. I finally asked Will if the alarm was set right and, without even opening his eyes, he said it was good to go. This tells me that he either has a great deal of faith in our Sony Dream Machine or he secretly set it when I wasn’t looking, which I suspect is the case.

I could get all upset over this. You know, what, you don’t trust me? You don’t think I can learn how to use a stupid alarm clock? But I am not going to get into it because I probably couldn’t figure it out and, anyway, I am too tired.

There IS one button that I know all about and I can locate it in my sleep. The big one that says Snooze. I’ve got that button all figured out.

Comments

[NCTRNL]

At least you saw the opportunity for an argument and decided against it. Women everywhere should learn from that kind of restraint...

[alfredsmom]

Im stuck with the alarm clock on my side too. I hate feeling the weight of responsibility for making sure my husband gets up. I am usually hit the alarm pretty quickly and sometimes he doesnt even hear it so I have to shake him.Thus taking away from my time to sleep. ( He has to be at work Way earlier than I do)

[Dawn]

As long as he knows how to set the alarm? I say that's the only button you need to worry about.

[ix]

i say move the clock. even if it means re-arranging your whole bedroom. it would still be much better than losing sleep over whether you'd wake on time. besides, after 2 years, i'm sure you're ready to re-decorate the bedroom. it's a wife's prerogative.

[Lu]

Oh, the dreaded alarm clock. They seem to get more and more sophisticated every year. I think you should move the clock and what I would not give for 8 hours of sleep at night. What a luxury.

[carrie]

at this point in my life, alarm clocks are unnecessary. :-P